Yet, those hands will never hold anything
by penscritch
Summary: A hero stands alone at the end on a hill of swords. A short history of Counter Guardian EMIYA, at the end which is the beginning of everything.


**Yet, those hands will never hold anything**

**Tags:** Archer/Rin, Archer/Hero EMIYA, Rin Tohsaka, featuring the parallel universe version of Rin

**Summary:** A hero stands alone at the end on a hill of swords. A short history of Counter Guardian EMIYA.

**AN:** Mainly inspired by this snippet I found on the Fate Stay/Night wiki ( wiki/Archer_%28Fate/stay_night%29) regarding a translation for one of the side materials released, and because I ship Shirou (who is basically Archer) and Rin like the last OTP ship in the world:

_He had forgotten the name "Rin Tohsaka" over the period of his life, but remembers her the instant she introduces herself. Murmuring "――Rin. Ah, that's the name――" under his breath, it is a statement from his heart filled with "much endearment close to insanity."_

-o0o-

He stands alone on a desolate plain, on a hill of swords.

He cannot hear the wind or feel the worn sun shining weakly down at him. Even the weapons pushed into his vital organs and through the other side of his mortal flesh cause him nothing but a staggered step. He cannot feel anything feel anything but the weight of the swords in his hands.

Kanshou and Bakuya.

They are perhaps the only companions that have not left him on this long, long journey.

The world dims. He stumbles, but pulls himself upright with the strength of will that has carried him this far.

There are swords in his hands and in his body. His body is made of swords. It cannot be helped if he does not feel anything or moves stiffly for all the iron in his blood.

But his heart is made of glass.

His mind is steel and his body is steel.

His heart is made of glass.

There is no one here. The desert stretches in every direction littered with corpses. It is a ruin made by his own hands.

It cannot be helped. They were looking for a great evil but only found a tired man made of steel standing at the end. Steel wears down in time, too. It's not what they were looking for, but it was close enough. Someone to blame for the dead.

He forgives them.

They are only human, after all.

He is human too, but not for much longer. He can bear the pain.

His friends are long gone and so is his lover. Whether they were faithless or simply lost to the passage of time is something only they can tell.

He forgives them too.

Even in his shattered state, he remembers three miraculous things that saved him. A living hell out of which he was pulled by a man weeping with relief. A knight of gold and blue coalescing in the moonlight and swinging a sword made of light.

A small red pendant left by his side when he had been truly killed and awoke alive.

The weight of it is negligible in his pocket but memory makes it heavy. For a long time he never knew who had saved him. He wished to thank his benefactor.

But he found out too late.

He is always too late or not powerful enough.

The memory of the smile she gave despite her pain and her carefree, lightly scolding words as she sent him on one final time:

_"Idiot Shirou."_

He returned to find that same smile on her face, blood trickling from her lips as she lay unmoving.

It was the last time she saved him.

He coughs blood. It trickles down his face the same way it did on hers.

She cannot save him now.

Still, for the sake of his pride and for the sake of the sacrifice she made he has to stand. For all the sacrifices that have been made so he can stand.

He is always alone.

But it feels so heavy now. He wants to lay down this burden and rest. He is tired.

But he owes it to them to continue, to always walk forward.

Even if he is alone.

Hero Emiya will die alone on this hill of swords but will continue walking forward to whatever end awaits him.

**-o0o-Fin-o0o**

**EN:** I also borrowed from the Fate Stay/Night wiki for the various translations of the chants for Unlimited Blade Works. It's fascinating to compare the regular English vs. literal English translations. It's even more fascinating when you compare the differences between Archer/Hero EMIYA's chant and Shirou's chant in UBW.


End file.
